The Vital Nature of Liminal Circumstances

“We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the life that is waiting for us.” --Joseph Campbell

When I was in my 20s, I never thought in a million years I would end up doing what I’m doing and living where I live today. I started my career as an elementary classroom teacher and am now working with others to become more authentically themselves. After experiencing my fair share of transitions, I’ve come to understand that the process of change – whether wanted or unwanted – is a part of evolving throughout your lifetime. In the middle of change, it sure can feel uncomfortable and awkward. I wish I knew earlier how to work through the awkwardness of what is called “liminal space”.

The word "liminal" comes from a Latin word referring to the top and bottom rails in a door frame that run from left to right, the bottom of which is familiar to you as the “threshold”. (Thus, any framing structure beneath the door is “subliminal”, a word used today to refer to hidden thoughts, feelings, and memories you are not aware of.)

Just as door thresholds are in-between places that signal going from one room or space to another, entering liminal space psychologically or metaphorically occurs when you move into something new. You may know liminal circumstances as that awkward and uncertain in-between phase during a change when you are in limbo, past the status quo but not quite settled into the new circumstance.

Even though there may be cause for celebration during transitions from the status quo to a new future, it’s common to feel unsettled, resentful, anxious, skeptical, and even depressed during these liminal times. For instance, you might remember adolescence as an awkward and uncertain time as you experienced the liminal years between childhood and adulthood. Even the excitement of marriage can bring on ambiguous feelings about giving up your identity as a single person. Therefore, it’s not surprising that liminal space often feels uncomfortable and even scary as you leave the familiar and enter something new and largely unknown.

Familiar Liminal Circumstances and Ceremonies

You’re probably most familiar with liminal space during notable life transitions, when circumstances change from the old to the new, from the familiar to the unknown, and even from an unconscious to a conscious state. Even today many cultures still formally mark major life transitions with rites of passage, known as “liminal” rites.

These rites are performed during life transitions, such as baptism, marriage, divorce, and death. You may have been part of less formal rites related to graduations and significant birthdays. Even getting a drivers license can be seen as a rite of passage between early and late adolescence.

The Significance of Liminal Circumstances

From a personal development standpoint, liminal circumstances often bring up beliefs and behaviors from childhood wounds you haven't healed. These early wounds are often the source the awkwardness, discomfort, or resistance you feel during transitions. For example, beliefs about your worthiness, being easily distracted or disconnected, or losing your temper easily can almost always be traced back to your early years. In short, liminal circumstances are there for the purpose of growing into a larger life by leaving behind beliefs and behaviors that aren’t working for you anymore. Doing so allows you to grow as a person and become more of your authentic self.

Whether you enter a liminal phase in your life by choice or whether it’s forced upon you, these times are critically important for learning more about yourself and growing into a better version of yourself. See these periods as a time to go inward to find what you must let go of to move forward successfully instead of what most people do: complain about their changing circumstances and blame others for what’s happening to upset them.

As Carl Jung noted, “What you resist, persists.” If you don’t make the most of liminal times by consciously working to grow and develop, the next change that comes along will be even more jolting.